The Sexual Binge

Good morning! Before I start typing about binging, I want to tell you how great our God is! We are driving north through the Cumberland Mountains and we witnessed a magnificent sunrise! The sky was bright pink, and purple, and blue! Thank you Lord for painting the sky for us this morning!

OK, let stalk about binging! Its not always sexual binging that gets us into trouble. In the Traveling Man Ministry (TMM) reference of binging, it when we sign up for the all day porn in the hotel….its when we go to the bar for a few more drinks after dinner….its when we stare a little too long at a set of legs…or boobs…or whatever.

The binge starts with a minor stumble. A small give in to temptation. If we can control it here, we can get through it….BUT Satan talks to us…he says we failed, we are weak, and we are worthless. He says that since we have already disappointed ourselves and God, it is ok to wallow in our sin for awhile….just to get it out of our system. Satan says if we binge, we can purge our desires and temptations and start new tomorrow. Sounds logical to a man! Fresh start? 2^nd chance? Sign me up…tomorrow!

BUT…. A stumble does not mean a fall. Temptation does not mean failure. God is with us, he gives us a way out. I am tired of failing. Are you? I want to be free. Do you? It is about today, not tomorrow. It is about how we respond to that first temptation.

Let's stop living in the sin. Let's stop binging. Let's let God in to help.

TMM is a great resource for the traveling man. I know the struggles are real. I know how hard it is to deny pleasure. I know how powerful our enemy is.

I know we can't do it alone.

How about allowing someone to come along side you in prayer? Need more than that?

How about allowing someone to actually call you and talk to you? Still need more?

How about someone that is available for you to call them? Yes, that's right. When temptation strikes, you can have a resource. Someone safe and confidential.

Email me at Kevin@travelingmanministry.com for info or help!

Cracks in the wall

Yep, still driving! Going walleye fishing in northern Michigan!

Driving along the interstate there are lots of spots where the road is cut into solid rock. It is amazing to me to see all sorts of vegetation growing out of those rocks. It makes me think of how Satan works and how he gets his seeds planted, no matter how strong we are. Allow me to explain (which means keep reading!)

The engineers and builders of roads have to use dynamite to cut away the stone to build a road. Have you ever seen a limestone quarry (think about the movie Breaking Away) and how solid that stone is? It is impervious to nearly everything. But plants can grow on it, tress can take root. All it takes is a little seed and a little water to start the growth. A small crack becomes home to new life. I think you know what I mean here.

Now think about sin and temptation and Satan. We can be strong, like solid stone. But how do we prevent those seeds from taking root in our armor? We can be strong like limestone, but how do we prevent a small crack from becoming host to a new life? We ARE men, so we don't ask for help. We are men, so we cover up those small cracks with a smile and say "everything is great". And all the while, that little seed starts to grow.

Here is an example, and yes it is true:

A "friend" of mine was ministering in a metropolitan city. He was attending functions in the community and conferences and networking and really spreading the Gospel and winning people to the kingdom. Mountain top experience for him! Solid foundation, rock solid, working for Christ…no worries here, right? My "friend" has an affinity for clubs, you know the type. So in his travels in the community he sees a few. (seeds planted in solid stone). These seeds are not effectively dealt with and they take root, consuming the mind. Fast forward to the end of the story…. Well, really no need to tell the end since you already know what happens. God thwarted an attempt to visit a club. Which means it was closed.

It's easy for the deceiver to get his seeds in your stone. It's easy for him to water those seeds and provide opportunity. It is not easy for us to resist.

Traveling is tough, and staying pure while traveling is even tougher.

Let me know what you think. Drop a comment on here…it's anonymous!

 

When do the seeds get planted?

When do the seeds of temptation get planted for you? Is it when you see something that makes you think about your sin (addiction)? Is it when you hear something that reminds you? When you check into the hotel? When you are driving from the airport? The key is to recognize those seeds and not allow them to take hold. Prayer is a good way to squash them, another is to call someone! I know you will never have a conversation with your spouse advising her that you are being tempted to view porn, or to go to the bar and have a few drinks and see "whats going on down there". But will you call someone that understands what you are saying/feeling and does not judge?
You don't need an accountability partner....how many of them have you had that you ended up just lying to after the first few conversations. How about an integrity partner? One with no ties to you or your spouse that can help you one day at a time? It sounds interesting. TMM does that. We help people that want help and understand you can't do it alone.
How's it going? How do you respond when Satan starts tossing those seeds at you and waits for one to take root? Are you equipped to stay pure and honor your marriage with your actions?
Contact me if you want. Kevin@travelingmanministry.com.

The devil made me do it

We have all heard that expression..the devil made me do it. itls like he is sitting there on our shoulders whispering in our ears. And we listen to his little lies. We allow those little seeds get planted in our minds. We are not prepared or equipped to deal with him. We justify our actions and thoughts, thinking all men have these.

I attended a Samson society meeting tonight (samsonsociety.org). My heart breaks when I hear the men talking about their situations, their demons, and how they want to be free. I belong there. I fit right in. I have my story and my demons, and I have been bitten hard by my sins, and I am still paying the price daily for listening to the deceiver.

When you hear someone say that the devil made them do it, its ok to laugh. The devil doen't make us do anything! He just plants the thought and leaves it to us.

Its lonely on the road. Its boring. WE can feel neglected. So we try to ease our pain with some porn (just a little!), some booze and some flirting (but not too much!), or whatever we like to do when away. We all have something. what's yours?

How do you respond when those little seeds fall into your mind? Will you allow me to come along side you and help? email me at kevin@travelingmanministry.com

Stress before travel

I just got back from a short trip to New Jersey! I traveled with my family and stayed at my sisters house! While I was driving, I was thinking about the stress we as men who are on the road face before we even leave. For example, we may worry if we are prepared for the meeting we have to attend, or if the sales presentation is ready, if we are in the correct hotel we wanted, if our flight will be on time, etc, etc... Not to mention all the stress of leaving our families behind for a few days. But men who have a secret also worry about the phone call from our spouses/sig other asking the dreaded questions that will find us out. Is all the porn removed from the computer? will the cell phone bill come in while you are away? will a credit card bill arrive that she shouldn't see? All these add more stress to a trip. Stress that we don't need when we live a pure life.
Addiction is a wicked thing that can't be handled alone. Are you trying to be strong when you are alone but fail time after time? I was in the same boat, but my secret sin was discovered by my wife. I tried and tried to stop it on my own but was unable. Sound familiar?
Lets take this journey together. email me at kevin@travelingmanministry.com.

More Despair

I was on the website connectingmatters.com, a Nashville TN counselors website and saw this...its pretty cool.... read the word below and say out loud what you see....

GODISNOWHERE

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So....what do you see? What did you say out loud? I bet you said "God is No Where". That's despair and being isolated. I prefer to see "God is Now Here". That's hope and love of our Father.

Despair

As I work with more and more men that travel and want to stay pure I am learning the despair they have. Some are starting to realize that they can not beat Satan alone. We need that 2nd person and we need Christ to successfully defend ourselves. Are you tired of being held in bondage of porn or infidelity or alcohol? Do you wish you could just tell someone that might actually understand and not judge you? I am available to help. Let's go into battle together.
email me at kevin@travelingmanministry.com.

Reading This?

If you are reading this blog, then you are probably a man who travels. You may or may not have a secret sin of some sort, and maybe its not so secret of a sin. Maybe your wife/significant other knows about it and you are working on it together. Maybe you need help. Hopefully you are tired of living the double life.

If you are reading this, would you please post a comment?I opened comments up so you can post them anonymously...no names, no anything. just let me know what you are thinking or feeling. If you don't want to comment, you can send me an email....Kevin@travelingmanministry.com.

Porn at Work on the Increase

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Out of Body Experience

It's like being on auto pilot, I guess. You know, when you begin the process of doing exactly what you don't want to do, but it seems like your not really doing it. Its like another person or version of yourself that is doing it. And its completely possible that you are sitting there "watching" it all happen. Seems like a neat defense mechanism, however its faulty. We all know that there is no 2nd version of yourself. And we all know that its a lie to make your sin seem less like your own. there is value in this theory, though. It helps you recognize that you are fully aware you are sinning and not being obedient to God. This is a good step! So, how do we stop thinking in terms that another person is acting out and take ownership? We need to seek help very quickly when we recognize our alter ego is kicking in and is taking over our rational thought. Traveling Man Ministry (TMM) can be that help... but you have to ask!

Secret Sin

There is alot of secret sin going around, and it is especially prevalent among men who travel. Some examples of secret sins are drinking more than you normally would, eating more than you usually do, viewing internet porn, watching pornographic movies, infidelity, and gambling. The key word is secret....so secret that you may only do it when you travel. Satan tempts you, dangling it in front of you..."nobody will know" he says. WRONG. Christ knows. Christ knows your heart, you can't hide it. You cant close off sections of your heart and think He won't see whats in there. He is sitting next to you while you are in the process of your sin. He feels your guilt and shame once you are done. He wants to help you....He really, really wants to help you; but prayer alone is not enough. You can not fight Satan alone. You will lose 99 out of 100 times. Will you allow Traveling Man Ministry (TMM) to help you? We will come alongside you and fight this temptation with you! All it takes is a simple act of submission -- asking for help. Admitting you can't do it alone.

Be Prepared!

Temptation always strikes when you travel. It may not be every time you are on the road, but it happens often enough that you probably can't even identify it when it hits. Does it strike early in the day? mid-afternoon? evening? late night? Satan is so good that he knows exactly when to plant the seed. Soemtimes that's all he needs to do -- just plant it and let you do the rest. It can even happen weeks before your trip! Men - we must be aware and be prepared!!!! Once our guard comes down, sin can step in. How can we be prepared? First, pray. Pray Pray Pray! God can give you the strength to get out of any jam you are in. Second, protect your eyes and ears. Even a slightly inappropriate joke can be a trigger for acting out. Third, have a plan. Know your "exit strategy" - turn and run when needed. Its ok to say "no" to a drink at the bar, its ok to say "no" to flirting with a woman, its ok to say "no" to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable and that you know is wrong. I learned the hard way.

Marriage Conference – part 2

I wrote on Friday about day 1 of a marriage conference my wife and I attended, about Eph 6 and the belt of truth. The next day the speakers went through the rest of the armor of God and how it applies to us and how we can use to strengthen (or save) our marriages. It was an excellent conference with a funny, fresh approach to the armor of God. After the conference, my wife simply said, "I thought we were doing all that and it still didn't work". Ouch! Not good. As you can tell, I led a double life while I was on the road, and many, many men that I knew did too. Did you know that 50% of hotel rooms on any given night have porn showing on the hotel TV? I wonder how many of those are of Christian men who want to break out of the bondage of their addiction and sin.

Learning Some Things!

I am definately learning some things as this proceeds. Being available for men in times of crisis is one thing...they call when they are on the road, tempted to do what they know is wrong - and I answer and talk to them. BUT...how do I get to them right when Satan plants that little seed of temptation -- on their way to their destination when they see a billboard, as they drive to their hotel and see a bar/club that looks inviting, as they pass the hotel bar, as they check out the movie titles of the pornos on the tv. All these are seeds from the enemy. He plants them in our minds, then waters them and waits for them to sprout. The key to saving a man who is on the road is to prevent those seeds from ever getting planted. Equipping them to not "see" the seeds is critical. Crisis Management is one thing, but never letting the seeds take hold is another path to freedom!
Traveling Man is a high contact ministry to help the guy on the road stay pure.

Traveling Man

Men – I know firsthand how lonely the road is! I traveled weekly for 8 years – I know all about the temptations that hit you while away. Satan never leaves you alone and you cannot defeat him alone! I attended the first part of a marriage conference tonight and the speakers were talking about the belt of truth (Eph 6). We as traveling men have a very hard time telling the FULL truth to anyone. How many times do you call home, chat for awhile, hang up and then go out? Or look at porn? Or invite a woman into your room? It happens all the time…and our spouses have no clue. There is freedom from the lies and "acting out" – but it is impossible to do alone!

Traveling Man Ministry!

Wow! I have never blogged before, so here we go! Welcome to the Traveling Man Ministry blog. My name is Kevin, and I was a traveling man! I fully understand what can happen on the road, the temptations men can be hit with, and how we typically respond. I am here to help men who travel for business fight off temptation from alcohol, gambling, internet porn, porn movies, and infidelity. However, even if you are not battling temptation while traveling, we can help you from falling into the trap that many of us have. This ministry is designed for a high level of personal contact to develop a relationship that can truly benefit the traveler.