In our effort to keep #purity within our 15 year old son, I want to share the struggles we face to keep him pure. Let me set this up for you... He has a girlfriend who is also 15 years old. He has a cell phone with no data plan. He has an ipod hooked into the home wifi. He has a Wii and a PS3, both with internet through he wifi. He has a DSI and a PSP, both with internet through the wifi. He has a facebook account also.
People say get safe eyes or covenant eyes to protect the computers (home and laptop). That's solid advice, except for the fact that he is never on a computer. We protect the router using OPEN DNS that filters and blocks things based on my our criteria. We keep this set to highly secure to keep all forms of porn and other things we don't want him exposed to out of the house and off his devices. We have also blocked you tube at the router and through open dns.
So along with all these measures, the electronic devices go through semi regular inspections. We check text messages, safari history, google searches, email, and palringo. We monitor FB activity. It is alot of work and stress to ensure all the protection programs and systems are working properly.
Before you judge, we have a great son. We trust him. He is a natural leader and rarely follows the crowd. We survived middle school with no incidents. Some say we go overboard, and those that say that to us never check their sons activity. We know that porn addiction can be avoided by delaying initial exposure to porn. We are aware that he will not avoid porn for his entire life, but if we can do our best to avoid exposure then maybe he will be in the 50% of men that do not have a porn problem.
Maybe the best solution is to just turn the internet off in the house.
Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!
Showing posts with label fighting pornography temptation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fighting pornography temptation. Show all posts
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Crazy Love, Week 2
Our small group continued our study of #crazylove last weekend. Chapter 2 is all about how God can call us home at any minute. We had some great discussion about regrets and highlights of life. We all were saddened by people that we know that have committed suicide, and this put a somber note for awhile. We are all excited to get into the "meat and potato's" of the study as we move into chapter 3!
But the main thing that I was thinking about when reading and discussing chapter 2 is in regards to the traveling men. What would happen if you died in your hotel room tonight? What would your wife see when she came to collect your things? Would she be proud of what you had in your room or what you may have been doing when you died? I know alot of guys who travel for their work. I know alot of guys that have "company sponsored affairs". I know alot of guys that do things when they are away from home that they would never ever do at or near home. Travel is liberating, and those men that live a double life while away from their wife have lost their foundation of love and support.
The temptation to misbehave is so strong. Satan is so good at what he does. Don't let him in. I am not saying you need to sit in your room with the computer off, the TV off, and your phone off. I am simply saying that the battles you face are spiritual battles, and we need to allow Jesus to fight them for us. This is hard to understand and hard to do, but He is there with you. Every day and every night.
But the main thing that I was thinking about when reading and discussing chapter 2 is in regards to the traveling men. What would happen if you died in your hotel room tonight? What would your wife see when she came to collect your things? Would she be proud of what you had in your room or what you may have been doing when you died? I know alot of guys who travel for their work. I know alot of guys that have "company sponsored affairs". I know alot of guys that do things when they are away from home that they would never ever do at or near home. Travel is liberating, and those men that live a double life while away from their wife have lost their foundation of love and support.
The temptation to misbehave is so strong. Satan is so good at what he does. Don't let him in. I am not saying you need to sit in your room with the computer off, the TV off, and your phone off. I am simply saying that the battles you face are spiritual battles, and we need to allow Jesus to fight them for us. This is hard to understand and hard to do, but He is there with you. Every day and every night.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
From Kevin: Want to know what TMM is all about---read below. I pulled from:
http://renewal-journal.com/blog/2010/06/13/a-story-of-confession-as-a-healing-ministry-in-a-young-christian-life/
Read it (I only pulled a small section off the referring web site) and if it describes you in any way and you desire to be free of this sexual sin while traveling, reach out -->kevin@travelingmanministry.com.
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Several years ago I sat down to pray with a small group of Christian men on a wintry Tuesday morning. This was a regular meeting unimaginatively called “the Tuesday morning men’s prayer group.” We met from seven to 8:00 AM in a small room at the church many of us attended.
It was our usual practice to share our experiences of the previous week, along with our needs and concerns. Then we closed with about 30 minutes of prayer for one another. On this particular morning the men were taking turns talking about various matters. The turn passed to a young husband and father who, in recent months, had become active in working with children and youth in the church. As we turned our attention to him, it became clear that he was quite agitated and struggling for words.
Sobbing, he finally said, “I know that this is going to destroy any chance I have of working with kids in the church, and will probably ruin my reputation as a Christian, but I have to get something off of my chest. I have to go out of town on business in a couple of days, and I am terrified. When I graduated from high school I joined the Navy. I traveled a lot in the military and joined in all of the typical off-duty activities that sailors do with their buddies. I have always been shy with girls but when I was in the Navy I became fascinated with pornography. All of the other guys took it for granted so it was no problem for me to indulge myself with it.
“When I was discharged from the service I met my future wife right away. We were so much in love my interest in pornography faded into the background. I got a good job, we got married and found out we were going to have a baby. We found this church and became active members. It was the happiest time of my life. Then, I got a promotion at work and started traveling alone. On my first business trip I got off of the airplane at my destination airport and headed to the rental car counter. I suddenly realized that I was very lonely. I decided to stop in to the news stand to get something to read. As soon as I stepped in front of the magazine racks I saw the row of Playboy magazines and about a dozen other books and magazines of the same type. I ended up in my hotel room with a briefcase full of porn and a heart and mind full of shame. I threw it out as I was leaving the hotel to go back to the airport.
“When I got back home I felt so terrible that my wife could tell something was wrong. She asked me about it and I lied. I was sure that I felt so bad that I would never fall into that temptation again, but I think it is getting worse. Now, whenever I find out that I am going to be traveling, I start thinking about the magazines. A few times I have been able to avoid actually buying them, but the temptation is almost an obsession. I am afraid that I am demon possessed or mentally ill. I think about losing my family, my church and my reputation. It seems like a simple thing but I feel that it is controlling me. There, now I’ve said it. If you are as disgusted with me as I am with myself, just give it to me straight and I’ll get out of here and never come back.”
This confession was followed by a period of awkward silence. Finally one of the other men spoke quietly.
I need to pause to tell you that the man who spoke was a lay leader in the church. He was a solid family man who held an executive position with a large, well-known and reputable technology company. He was a mature man whose wisdom, kindness and maturity were respected by everyone who knew him. He wasn’t a person who talked loudly or often but, when he did speak, people listened and valued his words highly.
When this “elder” began to respond to the younger man’s admission, I rather expected him to offer some advice about how to deal with the temptation of pornography, or perhaps to moralize a bit. However, he said simply: ”I have that problem.”
This statement was followed by an even longer and more awkward silence that, at least for me, begged someone to bring some control to the situation or, even better, change the subject. The quiet was finally interrupted again when a third man who was, again, a “pillar” in the church, stated: ”I have that problem, too.” Soon a fourth man in the group said, “I don’t have a problem with pornography when I travel alone.” ( I felt a palpable sense of relief for a moment.) …”I am tempted to drink.” (So much for the relief!)
After some more discussion about the power of temptation to attack us when we are in our weakest moments, the lay leader said, “Here’s what I think we need to do. I think we need to take note of the situations in which each of us feels most vulnerable to the temptation to sin. Then, every week when we meet we can each mention any impending situations. We will pray for one another about those specific occasions. The following week we will relate what happened, good or bad. Nothing disempowers temptation like bringing it into the light.”
We all agreed to participate in this idea and followed it faithfully. Everyone in the group agreed that the practice significantly reduced the power of the temptations and the actual occasions of yielding to them. The young man who began the original dialogue was able to resist his attraction to pornography and continued to grow spiritually and in his ministries
http://renewal-journal.com/blog/2010/06/13/a-story-of-confession-as-a-healing-ministry-in-a-young-christian-life/
Read it (I only pulled a small section off the referring web site) and if it describes you in any way and you desire to be free of this sexual sin while traveling, reach out -->kevin@travelingmanministry.com.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Several years ago I sat down to pray with a small group of Christian men on a wintry Tuesday morning. This was a regular meeting unimaginatively called “the Tuesday morning men’s prayer group.” We met from seven to 8:00 AM in a small room at the church many of us attended.
It was our usual practice to share our experiences of the previous week, along with our needs and concerns. Then we closed with about 30 minutes of prayer for one another. On this particular morning the men were taking turns talking about various matters. The turn passed to a young husband and father who, in recent months, had become active in working with children and youth in the church. As we turned our attention to him, it became clear that he was quite agitated and struggling for words.
Sobbing, he finally said, “I know that this is going to destroy any chance I have of working with kids in the church, and will probably ruin my reputation as a Christian, but I have to get something off of my chest. I have to go out of town on business in a couple of days, and I am terrified. When I graduated from high school I joined the Navy. I traveled a lot in the military and joined in all of the typical off-duty activities that sailors do with their buddies. I have always been shy with girls but when I was in the Navy I became fascinated with pornography. All of the other guys took it for granted so it was no problem for me to indulge myself with it.
“When I was discharged from the service I met my future wife right away. We were so much in love my interest in pornography faded into the background. I got a good job, we got married and found out we were going to have a baby. We found this church and became active members. It was the happiest time of my life. Then, I got a promotion at work and started traveling alone. On my first business trip I got off of the airplane at my destination airport and headed to the rental car counter. I suddenly realized that I was very lonely. I decided to stop in to the news stand to get something to read. As soon as I stepped in front of the magazine racks I saw the row of Playboy magazines and about a dozen other books and magazines of the same type. I ended up in my hotel room with a briefcase full of porn and a heart and mind full of shame. I threw it out as I was leaving the hotel to go back to the airport.
“When I got back home I felt so terrible that my wife could tell something was wrong. She asked me about it and I lied. I was sure that I felt so bad that I would never fall into that temptation again, but I think it is getting worse. Now, whenever I find out that I am going to be traveling, I start thinking about the magazines. A few times I have been able to avoid actually buying them, but the temptation is almost an obsession. I am afraid that I am demon possessed or mentally ill. I think about losing my family, my church and my reputation. It seems like a simple thing but I feel that it is controlling me. There, now I’ve said it. If you are as disgusted with me as I am with myself, just give it to me straight and I’ll get out of here and never come back.”
This confession was followed by a period of awkward silence. Finally one of the other men spoke quietly.
I need to pause to tell you that the man who spoke was a lay leader in the church. He was a solid family man who held an executive position with a large, well-known and reputable technology company. He was a mature man whose wisdom, kindness and maturity were respected by everyone who knew him. He wasn’t a person who talked loudly or often but, when he did speak, people listened and valued his words highly.
When this “elder” began to respond to the younger man’s admission, I rather expected him to offer some advice about how to deal with the temptation of pornography, or perhaps to moralize a bit. However, he said simply: ”I have that problem.”
This statement was followed by an even longer and more awkward silence that, at least for me, begged someone to bring some control to the situation or, even better, change the subject. The quiet was finally interrupted again when a third man who was, again, a “pillar” in the church, stated: ”I have that problem, too.” Soon a fourth man in the group said, “I don’t have a problem with pornography when I travel alone.” ( I felt a palpable sense of relief for a moment.) …”I am tempted to drink.” (So much for the relief!)
After some more discussion about the power of temptation to attack us when we are in our weakest moments, the lay leader said, “Here’s what I think we need to do. I think we need to take note of the situations in which each of us feels most vulnerable to the temptation to sin. Then, every week when we meet we can each mention any impending situations. We will pray for one another about those specific occasions. The following week we will relate what happened, good or bad. Nothing disempowers temptation like bringing it into the light.”
We all agreed to participate in this idea and followed it faithfully. Everyone in the group agreed that the practice significantly reduced the power of the temptations and the actual occasions of yielding to them. The young man who began the original dialogue was able to resist his attraction to pornography and continued to grow spiritually and in his ministries
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