Course Corrections for #Purity,,,Keeping it Between the Lines

I am using a driving metaphor when I say "keeping it between the lines".When we drive a car, we are constantly making little corrections to our speed and direction to keep the vehicle between the lines on the road. Those little course corrections keep us going in the direction we want to be going at a safe pace.

When we travel, we forget to make those little course corrections. After all, we REALLY don't have accountability when we are on the road. So a few failed course corrections can have some serious implications.

Some examples of failed course corrections:

1. An extra drink at the bar with the guys. Normally you wouldn't do that, but since you are on the road, nobody will care...right?
2. A friendly smile to a girl in the bar (or in the elevator or wherever). Again, this is not the norm, but you are just being nice and friendly....right?
3. Checking out the titles of the adult movies on the hotel TV. Would you do that if your wife was sitting on the bed next to you?
4. Firing up the laptop "to check on a few things". How often does that lead you to a website that you told yourself you were not going to go to? Alot, I bet.
5. Ordering a huge meal (and eating it all)when you are trying to lose weight. Is it just a way to fill the loneliness?
6. A physical touch (innocent, of course) with a female in the office/location you are visiting while away from home. Your a long way from home and nobody will ever know...right?
7. Lying to your wife about where you have been and what you have done....she wouldn't understand the truth anyway, would she?

We as men screw up. We are good at messing up. It seems to just come naturally. It is especially easy to mess up when we are away from home and alone. Add to this the fact that we as men really don't have deep friendships with other men that can help us through temptation.

If this sounds familiar to you and you really want help in making small course corrections, send me an email...info@travelingmanministry.com

Is an Emotional Affair Considered Cheating?

Dr. Robi Ludwig was on The Today Show today talking about emotional affairs. It was a good piece and she was crystal clear in her answer. Yes, emotional affairs are cheating. Emotional Affairs make you hide something from your wife, and they force you to withdraw from your wife. You don't have enough emotional stamina to keep up with 2 women for very long. The emotional connection with your wife WILL suffer and she will notice. You will argue more and more and you will wish you were with the other woman. Your mind will create a new, better life with the other woman.

The Today Show piece also talked about how much trouble we men get into at work. Meetings, emails, innocent flirting and the next thing we know we have things in common. Then we have lunch together, and then it takes off from there.

Smart men avoid this all together. They don't begin any sort of relationship with women in the workplace. However, we're not very smart, are we? We think we can handle it. We want to be wanted. We want to be affirmed and accepted. We crave attention. And down that road we go.

Add traveling and being alone in a hotel room. Oh, the trouble we can engage in! And what if that woman we have been innocently flirting with happens to be on the same business trip and staying in the same hotel? It's a short step from an emotional affair to a physical affair.

Emotional affairs are dangerous! I know, I had one.

Will you allow me to come alongside you and help? email me at kevin@travelingmanministry.com safe and confidential.

All is Well!

Oh, how many times have I heard that line! We are so so far from admitting problems or weaknesses or temptations! Did you know that 50% of men have a problem with pornography. Ask 10 guys, and all 10 will say "nope, never look at it"! It's really quite funny.

50% porn problem for all men. It's even higher for men who travel. Infidelity is higher among men who travel. Divorce is higher among men who travel. Alcoholism is higher among men who travel. BUT we do make more $$ than men who don't travel. that makes it all worth it!

I know how impossible it is to talk about things to friends and spouses. We just internalize it all. But the pressures and temptations are very very real!

Need someone to talk to or walk with you for awhile? Email me at kevin@travelingmanministry.com

When do the seeds get planted?

When do the seeds of temptation get planted for you? Is it when you see something that makes you think about your sin (addiction)? Is it when you hear something that reminds you? When you check into the hotel? When you are driving from the airport? The key is to recognize those seeds and not allow them to take hold. Prayer is a good way to squash them, another is to call someone! I know you will never have a conversation with your spouse advising her that you are being tempted to view porn, or to go to the bar and have a few drinks and see "whats going on down there". But will you call someone that understands what you are saying/feeling and does not judge?
You don't need an accountability partner....how many of them have you had that you ended up just lying to after the first few conversations. How about an integrity partner? One with no ties to you or your spouse that can help you one day at a time? It sounds interesting. TMM does that. We help people that want help and understand you can't do it alone.
How's it going? How do you respond when Satan starts tossing those seeds at you and waits for one to take root? Are you equipped to stay pure and honor your marriage with your actions?
Contact me if you want. Kevin@travelingmanministry.com.

The devil made me do it

We have all heard that expression..the devil made me do it. itls like he is sitting there on our shoulders whispering in our ears. And we listen to his little lies. We allow those little seeds get planted in our minds. We are not prepared or equipped to deal with him. We justify our actions and thoughts, thinking all men have these.

I attended a Samson society meeting tonight (samsonsociety.org). My heart breaks when I hear the men talking about their situations, their demons, and how they want to be free. I belong there. I fit right in. I have my story and my demons, and I have been bitten hard by my sins, and I am still paying the price daily for listening to the deceiver.

When you hear someone say that the devil made them do it, its ok to laugh. The devil doen't make us do anything! He just plants the thought and leaves it to us.

Its lonely on the road. Its boring. WE can feel neglected. So we try to ease our pain with some porn (just a little!), some booze and some flirting (but not too much!), or whatever we like to do when away. We all have something. what's yours?

How do you respond when those little seeds fall into your mind? Will you allow me to come along side you and help? email me at kevin@travelingmanministry.com

Stress before travel

I just got back from a short trip to New Jersey! I traveled with my family and stayed at my sisters house! While I was driving, I was thinking about the stress we as men who are on the road face before we even leave. For example, we may worry if we are prepared for the meeting we have to attend, or if the sales presentation is ready, if we are in the correct hotel we wanted, if our flight will be on time, etc, etc... Not to mention all the stress of leaving our families behind for a few days. But men who have a secret also worry about the phone call from our spouses/sig other asking the dreaded questions that will find us out. Is all the porn removed from the computer? will the cell phone bill come in while you are away? will a credit card bill arrive that she shouldn't see? All these add more stress to a trip. Stress that we don't need when we live a pure life.
Addiction is a wicked thing that can't be handled alone. Are you trying to be strong when you are alone but fail time after time? I was in the same boat, but my secret sin was discovered by my wife. I tried and tried to stop it on my own but was unable. Sound familiar?
Lets take this journey together. email me at kevin@travelingmanministry.com.

More Despair

I was on the website connectingmatters.com, a Nashville TN counselors website and saw this...its pretty cool.... read the word below and say out loud what you see....

GODISNOWHERE

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So....what do you see? What did you say out loud? I bet you said "God is No Where". That's despair and being isolated. I prefer to see "God is Now Here". That's hope and love of our Father.

Despair

As I work with more and more men that travel and want to stay pure I am learning the despair they have. Some are starting to realize that they can not beat Satan alone. We need that 2nd person and we need Christ to successfully defend ourselves. Are you tired of being held in bondage of porn or infidelity or alcohol? Do you wish you could just tell someone that might actually understand and not judge you? I am available to help. Let's go into battle together.
email me at kevin@travelingmanministry.com.

Secret Sin

There is alot of secret sin going around, and it is especially prevalent among men who travel. Some examples of secret sins are drinking more than you normally would, eating more than you usually do, viewing internet porn, watching pornographic movies, infidelity, and gambling. The key word is secret....so secret that you may only do it when you travel. Satan tempts you, dangling it in front of you..."nobody will know" he says. WRONG. Christ knows. Christ knows your heart, you can't hide it. You cant close off sections of your heart and think He won't see whats in there. He is sitting next to you while you are in the process of your sin. He feels your guilt and shame once you are done. He wants to help you....He really, really wants to help you; but prayer alone is not enough. You can not fight Satan alone. You will lose 99 out of 100 times. Will you allow Traveling Man Ministry (TMM) to help you? We will come alongside you and fight this temptation with you! All it takes is a simple act of submission -- asking for help. Admitting you can't do it alone.

Be Prepared!

Temptation always strikes when you travel. It may not be every time you are on the road, but it happens often enough that you probably can't even identify it when it hits. Does it strike early in the day? mid-afternoon? evening? late night? Satan is so good that he knows exactly when to plant the seed. Soemtimes that's all he needs to do -- just plant it and let you do the rest. It can even happen weeks before your trip! Men - we must be aware and be prepared!!!! Once our guard comes down, sin can step in. How can we be prepared? First, pray. Pray Pray Pray! God can give you the strength to get out of any jam you are in. Second, protect your eyes and ears. Even a slightly inappropriate joke can be a trigger for acting out. Third, have a plan. Know your "exit strategy" - turn and run when needed. Its ok to say "no" to a drink at the bar, its ok to say "no" to flirting with a woman, its ok to say "no" to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable and that you know is wrong. I learned the hard way.